life in general.

Here is the story, I used to have family problems. Not everyday but quite often my family would get into disputes. It was hard for me to deal with it all the time, I mean first I moved from the city to the country, changed from a private to a public school, and went from having a semi strong family to one that is torn into pieces. When I was younger my sister and I didn't tend to get along, she always told me what to do and I hated that more than anything, even though now I see that it was just out of love. It was almost like she was trying to be my mother instead of my sister. But now a days we are so close and I don't know where the hell I would be without my sister! She is a sibling and yet still a close friend dear to my heart!

Most of the family issues have calmed down now, every so often I have had to deal with some cases of depression, nothing to major but my friends have helped me through a lot of it! Then again, now I am having social life issues.
I have always had problems making friends and also getting into relationships. I used to be the most shy little boy you would ever meet (other than my antisocial gay friend) lol just kidding love ya man! And it was also difficult for me to make male friends as well, when I was younger I had a male friend who was completely my bro! We did it all. We really were the shit, but stupid shit happened and he stopped being my friend which really hurt and i was hardly ever able to make a close male friend up until recently which ...well you will see in the next few lines.

Moving on to relationships. It doesn't help that any one that I have ever liked has had either a boyfriend and or girlfriend. It also takes a lot for me to settle down .. sometimes. But lately I am really desperate. And it also doesn't help that I fell really hard for my closest male friend. Everything about him was just so ..... right. He understands me and I can be who I want to be, other than I wanted to be with him. But the fact of the matter is, nothing will come of that and I will just have to move on and not let his choices affect me. This situation has put a little bit of bumps into our close friendship, and I really don't want that to happen. I love him and I want him to be happy!

My X is always there to talk to me as well, and even though it bugs me sometimes she tells me what I need to hear about all of my shitty problems, not what I want to hear!

My antisocial gay friend is always there if I need to vent! Which is a really good stress re leaver!

My best gal friend is always there for me to! And I love her so much for it, I hate to have to bring her into the middle of all of my shitty drama as well, because I know that all of our moods and shit bug her, but I am so glad that she can understand and stick though, I honestly don't know where I would be without her.

My best friend. UGH man, I really do not know where I would be without him. Honestly, I would probably still be in a depression, this kid brought out the Matt in me. Without him I don't think that I would be the fun loving kind of dude that I am today (other than when I am in one my moods then I am not so much fun loving) Lol. I love that I can always talk to him, even though lately it seems much harder to talk. I don't want this friendship to fade, I will do all I can to keep it going. He seriously has been a God send in so many ways! Even though I still have some feelings for the kid I hope we can still push through as friends from now on!

It is hard for me to hide all of these feelings I have been so closed off for so long and I am just starting to open up! And multiple times I have had my downfalls, but I don't want to blab on about that unless you want me to! lol. Then of course I would! :)

So... hmmmm, enough about me, lets talk about you!